Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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