When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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