My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
