tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Do vagina's smell?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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