woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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