I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
