She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
