at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
