I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Randomize
