my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
