i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
