maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
