Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
