Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I wish there were birth control emojis
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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