he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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