god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
