Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
