OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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