The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
