Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
