So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
