I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
