Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
