Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
