You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
