first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
