I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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