my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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