wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
