Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
