I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
