She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
