Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
home. puking in laundry basket.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
