Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
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