everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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