just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
