ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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