This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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