Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
