You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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