That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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