I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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