im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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