look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
