she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
you inspire me to be a worse person
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
