We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize