waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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