Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
