I am in a vortex of obligation.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
