Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
not ubering you a puppy
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
