worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
