i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
P.S. I can't hear my feet
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
