I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
