goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
ttyl tear gas
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
